Purpose: To Help Men Understand What a Healthy Man Is and Does

A healthy man takes care of his mind, body and spirit in order to make a difference in the lives of people he chooses to protect, provide for and nurture.

Goals: To Encourage Any Man Who Seeks Direction in Personal Growth and Clarity of Purpose.

·         “Every Man Focus” Podcast

We believe there is a need among most men to be mentored toward understanding a man’s value and purpose in life. We believe there are truths that can guide understanding of healthy growth for a man that are not necessarily focused upon by religious traditions and culture. We believe all men can be better equipped to live life as a man based upon these truths.

We are committed to creating filmed conversations (podcasts) between men where differences of opinion are respected but manhood is prioritized. We intend to offer a Christ informed perspective alongside other expressed points of view. These conversations can be attended or viewed on-line so that men can engage at times of convenience and listen to topics of relevance.

·         “Christ-Follower” Podcast

Although the Christ-focused perspective is represented in the “Every Man Focus” conversations, we anticipate that there will be men who want more Christ specific teachings informing the topics relevant to manhood. The Everyman Focus will offer a link to a Christ-informed podcast with Dr. Kevyn D. Jones, who has been a pastor of Valley Park Church in North Hills, CA, for over 30 years (see also www.valleyparkchurch.com).  These topical discussions will be relevant to men’s groups, whether secular of Christian, seeking to dig deeper into the teachings of Jesus.

Dr. Jones wrote his dissertation on “The Encouragement of Men; Toward a Biblically Informed Understanding of Masculinity as it Relates to the Discipleship of Twenty-First-Century American Males” (Talbot Seminary, 2013). He specifically compared a Biblical and Theological Framework for Manhood with Research in areas such as Man’s Biology (Brain, Physiological, and Tendency Differentiation) when compared to women and the Effects of Socialization on Man’s Growth and Development. His conclusions included the compatibility of a biblically informed understanding of manhood and a scientifically documented understanding of manhood. This compatibility supports discussions of manhood from multiple perspectives capable of research informing sound reasoning in regard to understanding.  

·         “Small Group Focus”  

The topics relevant to every man are worthy of discussion among men in groups where study, discussion and application are involved. We anticipate coordinating small groups settings where up to 12 men will study and discuss topics relevant to becoming a man, understanding himself and embracing a healthy purpose in life are the focus.

·         Producing a Two Manual Focus for a Man’s Study

We will provide a study focus for two types of men. Pastor Kevyn is producing a study informed by the Bible and contemporary research based upon the social sciences. Nathan and Eric (and others are welcome to offer input) will produce a study based upon secular wisdom. Both studies assume the following outline of six topics are relevant to any man seeking to grow personally and serve a purpose in life focused upon “serving” people we love.

·         “Purpose Serving TEAM Focus” (Together Serving A Mission)  

The growth of a man involves self-growth and embracing efforts that promote the good of those around him including the community in which he lives. The journey of every man is to make a difference in the world for good. Ways to be productive in serving a “Purpose” can be explored in small groups as it impacts a man’s home, his church and his community. Additionally, there are purposes men can better accomplish with other men as a team accomplishing a purpose to impact others on a larger scale. We are desiring to see men work together to fulfill some or all of the purposes identified in this effort to change others and/or communities for the good. We believe the fruit of a healthy man’s life is serving purposes in his own life and in cooperation with other men.

Manhood Defined

There are two primary for every man. The first priority is a man’s Personal Growth. The second priority is a man’s Growth in Serving a Meaningful Purpose in life. A man’s purpose is informed by a man’s personal health (integrated in mind, body and spirit) directed toward serving people of all ages and needs (protecting, providing and nurturing them).

1.      A Man’s Personal Growth: Mind, Body and Soul

Mind:                   

The mind of a man processes all input from the senses, emotions, values of culture, conflict and even unseen spirits in the unseen realm everywhere present. Wisdom involves the ability of a man to absorb these inputs and process them in understanding the best physical investments in life that serve the well-being of others. A man needs some sense of truth that is good to discern beliefs that are misleading, sometimes evil and destructive of life. It is profitable for every man to have a trustworthy mentor (teacher/encourager) in life to help guide him in processing the most important and healthy truths about life because they will guide his choices. We believe there are truths about life that can be learned through modern research (sociology, psychology, anthropology, biology as well as the experiences of others) that will help equip a man to process the meaning of life and best investments that promote life and the well-being of others. Truth that is good will help develop a man’s mind and inform the most productive and healthy investments of life informed by his sense of purpose. 

Body:                   

The body is the vehicle through which the mind expresses itself. A healthy body is better equipped to enable a man to think clearly and do things that serve his purpose in life. There are a variety of disciplines involved in understanding how best to keep the body healthy including habits in maintaining strength, physical conditioning, eating that best replenishes strength, the need for establishing healthy daily rhythms that maintain all of the above. There is high value for every man in studying and talking about the best ways to invest in the maintenance of the physical body. A healthy body protects and undergirds a healthy mind.

Spirit:

It is our conviction that men possess a heart (spirit, soul) that can, from birth, be nurtured toward a good and righteous disposition without which a man can be ignorant of purposeful understanding of his influence in life leading him to become self-focused. The disposition of a man’s heart is reflected in his thought life, commitments and behaviors. It is visible and people see it as the fruit of his heart. We also believe that this disposition, when not nurtured with righteous values can be altered with an emphasis upon selfishness and hurtful behaviors that dominate a man’s disposition. Thus, we believe formation of a man’s heart (spirit, soul) needs to be nurtured over time in ways that will produce growth in understanding of goodness that informs  behaviors that impact the lives of people in whom he chooses to invest his life.

Next Level: The greatest potential for transforming a man’s heart (spirit, soul) is the involvement of God’s Spirit within his innermost being. While we believe the human heart (spirit, soul) can be nurtured toward true goodness through parenting, mentoring and the influence of good people in general, we also believe that it is of eternal value for a man to embrace the God who created him as a Father, knows him as His child, and is committed to nurturing Him in the values He identifies as good. We additionally believe that the nurturing of a man’s heart (spirit, soul) is most completely accomplished by God’s Son, Jesus Christ, who knows the Father intimately, understands the struggles in a man’s life, and has displayed how best to honor God in this life. Jesus was and is committed to teaching every man what it means to be a man. We believe we can teach the values of Jesus to every man apart from a man yet believing in Jesus because the work of Jesus to build into the lives of others works, and a man can benefit from practicing love and building up of people in like manner to Jesus.  in how he should love and serve others involves the values Jesus.        

The Necessity of Growth in Mind, Body and Spirit

A healthy man will grow strong in mind, body and heart/body/spirit. His growth in all three areas will determine his effectiveness in fulfilling a purpose in life. It is therefore our vision that we can provide a healthy paradigm for the personal growth of every man willing to walk with us on the journey of life as a man.   

2.      A Man’s Growth in Serving a Meaningful Purpose in Life: To Protect, Provide, and Nurture

General State of Manhood in the United States

We believe every man is created to make a difference in the world; to serve a purpose. Identifying a purpose in life is one of man’s greatest challenges in life. A man adequately equipped in mind, body and heart is best equipped to make a difference in the lives of others. At the end of every day, a man needs to know that his life counts for something and his existence counts for something in the lives of others. A life lived to serve a purpose is a man’s legacy and will give him a sense of pride based on what he is accomplishing with his life.     

It is one of the most discouraging facts of life that a majority of men cannot identify their purpose in terms with enough clarity to give them daily direction. We define a man’s purpose as involving three responsibilities in the lives of others: Protecting, Providing and Nurturing. We believe a majority of men define these three purposes too simplistically. For instance, “Protecting” simply means focusing on a man’s strength to physically protect. “Providing” simply means offering family comforts such as a home, money and things. “Nurturing” often means deferring to others, especially women, to nurture as it is not a man’s strength to communicate well. However, we believe these three responsibilities and their implications need to be understood in a way that is more inclusive of all people and the multiple challenges represented in a life where the influence of evil dominates culture.  

Protecting:          

The role of a man as a “Protector of Lives” applies to everything that threatens the lives of other people (women, youth, children and all victims of oppression or abuse). This means that everything a man does to build his own life (mind, body and heart) must be protected as the right of every person in the world. A wise man learns to sense threats to the health and growth of others even when unseen and he creates ways to keep them safe and secure so that they can grow in mind, body and heart. Thus, there are multiple expressions of a man’s commitment to protecting people.

o   “Protecting” people (children through to adulthood) from falsehoods, habits and lifestyles that threaten the development of their mind, body and heart.

o   “Protecting” people (children through to adulthood) from environments where the unrighteous behavior of others threatens their existence and interferes with their growth in mind, body and spirit.

o   Possibly creating new opportunities and environments for people (children through to adulthood) where they are safe and best enabled to grow in mind, body and heart.

o   A man’s willingness to express an empathetically motivated commitment to learning about the experiences of people so that he can provide meaningful support to them in their life journey. A man’s protective commitment can be reflected in a commitment to being a good and attentive listener.   

The ability of a man to “Protect” others requires a discernment on the part of a healthy man because there exists multiple factors he must be wise to discern in sensitivity to his mind and heart in order to protect (family dynamics, culture, education, a person’s biology and psychology).  For instance, a man’s protective role in the life of women will differ from his role in the life of a child or teenager. In general, men are designed to “protect” and that will require integration of his mind, body and spirit in the role he assumes in the lives of others. His love and respect for the value of people (empathy) informs action that does not necessarily require physical strength. It will be impacted by  strength of character and empathy that flows from his own personal growth in heart.

Providing:

The role of a man in “providing” is also multifaceted. A man should be able to provide physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically depending upon what he assesses to be the most important needs of another human being. The healthier a man is in mind, body and heart, the better equipped he will be to provide for others consistent with what they need most in life. Providing is not as life preserving as is protecting lives. But it is life building as it involves a commitment to people that strengthens them in meaningful ways once they are safe and secure. Providing is informed by a man’s assessment of what other people need to grow as mature human beings capable of making a difference in life just as a mature man has chosen to do. Providing for people is most productive when a man has a vision for what others can become. The following list of providing efforts can be expanded.

o   A man can “Provide” his time in building relationships with people so that he displays his love of them and earns the trust to mentor them in growth and purpose  A man can “provide” mentoring, concern, love, interest, empathy and encouragement

o   A man can “Provide” financially to create safe places for people where they can grow personally in heart (spirit, soul). Creating environments where people can grow is recognizing that growth in people takes time and creating safe environments for psychological and emotional health enables growth. This need could involve investments in programs, staffing, volunteerism or even buildings providing space for all of the above.

o   A man can “Provide” life counselling based upon his own experiences and successes. If he has grown to be particularly competent in anything, he is equipped to provide counsel, encouragement, direction, instruction and to come alongside anyone who wants to learn what he has learned to do well in life. 

o   A man can become a generally positive, kind and optimistic influence in the lives of everyone he meets and knows personally. He can “Provide” positive energy that is attractive in a world that is discouraging for many people. A man strong in mind, body and heart can be attractive to people and people easily listen to how he speaks.  

In general, men can provide for others in ways that enable them to grow in mind, body and spirit. A man can provide for people in ways that will change their lives over time. A man’s life is like a stone thrown in water that extends a ripple effect in multiple directions without him even being aware of the extent of his influence. A man will be remembered for what he provides that enhances the lives of others.  

Nurturing:                        

The role of a man in nurturing is one of man’s greatest challenges in life because it involves use of his verbal abilities along with integration of how he has personally grown in mind, body and heart/soul/spirit. Men are often known for using less words than women. But nurturing requires living by example along with focus upon teaching and helping others understand life. The following list can be expanded.

o   A man who has nurtured and equipped himself with a healthy mind will be able to help others answer the most important questions of life.

o   A man who has managed healthy self-care will be equipped to nurture others in management of the health of the physical body.

o   A man who has managed the health of his heart (spirit/soul) is best equipped to nurture others regarding what it means to be good and righteous. His own behavioral commitments for the benefit of others will undergird and strengthen his ability to nurture the heart of others. His heart will be reflected in everything he says and does, and his influence will be impactful based upon what people sense he is like at the core of his being.

o   A man who has personally grown in managing his own mind, body and heart with excellence will be best equipped to nurture others in self-discipline. While we may know what growth requires, the most important factor in life determining growth is discipline. Self-discipline is a life necessity for growth and a healthy man will, by example, and in word, affect the valuing of discipline the lives of others as one of the most important parts of nurturing.

In general, men are designed to grow with healthy minds and a logical ability that equips them to grow self and to speak truth into the lives of others. This is the heart of a man in his embracing of his purpose to nurture others in life.

A Vision for Manhood

It is the commitment of a strong men’s leadership team to work toward changing the lives of men regardless of their religious convictions. We believe that history, research and experience inform principles that can guide every man even when convictions about God, spirituality and the unseen realm are not yet understood. We desire to develop a TEAM (Together Embracing A Mission) of men who will seek to challenge men everywhere and anywhere to achieve their greatest potential in life. That potential requires personal growth and commitment to living life with a clearly defined purpose. The six challenges presented above represent high expectations and it is not typical in men’s groups to raise the bar so high. However, we believe that the clarity of focus will be helpful for many men who are challenged to know what it means to be a man and serve a purpose in life. The bar is high, but clarity in regard to the journey is a healthy foundation upon which to build.

Naturally, in all we do we are informed by the fact that the only perfect man in history is Jesus Christ. We are in essence lifting up the values He taught and lived and we are hopeful that many men who learn His values will grow in respect of Him and eventually embrace Him as the most valuable reflection of manhood to have lived in the history of man. Following Jesus is living life under the direction and example set by Him in living a life that is truly righteous, honoring to God, and of value to the encouragement of people.

 A Man’s Action Plan

“A Plan of Attack and Study Guide for Growth”  

Having defined the overall picture involving a man’s “Personal Growth” and “growth in Serving a Meaningful Purpose in Life, it remains to establish an objective plan for a man’s growth. We are proposing the following as providing the foundation for growth.

·        Listening to our podcasts in person or on-line. The podcast is conversational and an easy way for men to connect with the teachings we have established as essentials in understanding. We are creating settings and topics for podcasts and establishing a library under a website entitled “Manhood Maximized.”

·        “In person” or “On line” meetings where men can talk and share life are important. WE believe many men  have conflicting schedules and it might be good to prioritize several options.

o   one monthly with a lecture/podcast (20 minutes) followed by small group interaction and prayer (30 minutes): Saturdays or Sundays at 5 pm , or Fridays at 7 pm with same one hour format.

o   Other options for weekly meetings can be organized depending on men’s expressed desire and commitment.

·        Weekly interactive study by text or email in which men covenant to interact. They need to read and share thoughts associated with their personal contact info so men get to know each other and hear what each person is thinking. I think this needs to be in groups of less than ten with possibility of subdividing if there is growth.

 A Man’s Personal Growth: Mind, Body and Soul

1.      Development of a Healthy Mind

Reasoning that informs Value of a Healthy Mind

The mind of a man is his single most important asset. The mind, well informed, gives direction to everything a man determines to do with his life. It informs how he manages the health of his body and spirit/soul. Every choice a man makes in life is determined by the health of his mind with the additional requirement that he becomes disciplined in managing his body, soul and chosen priorities in life. The mind is the determining factor of everything a man does and becomes. The mind then, managing both body and spirit/soul for personal growth, and then choosing to prioritize investment in people, with a purpose informed by protecting, providing and nurturing gives direction in everything a man does reflecting the fruit of his life. A healthy man is a man who is wise in his management of understanding and proven to manage everything under is control. A man must therefore, as the first priority in his life, prioritize learning.